If you are here, you are probably well aware of my passion for all things pregnancy, birth and postpartum related! It's my absolute passion to support and equip moms on this exciting and beautiful journey.
We have been blessed to welcome our second little girl into this world on 23 September 2024 and just like I've shared about Ruahné's birth back in 2022 - you bet I'm an open book yet again!
In case you have missed my live talk on instagram, you can watch it here: https://www.instagram.com/p/DDpLJ-IsKet/
The talk is in Afrikaans, so I thought it well to do a blog post in English for those who are not fluent in Afrikaans.
Please note that this is NOT any medical or pregnancy & birth related advice. I am simply sharing my experience. Please consult with your doctor / midwife or relevant health care professionals before you make any choices.
I also do not want to trigger anyone or make anyone feel bad about their own experience. The ultimate theme of the Bible is about choosing LIFE and if both you and your baby came out of this whole ordeal alive - regardless if your baby was born normal, via an emergency C-section or a scheduled C-section - it's a win in my opinion!
Like with Ruahné's birth story, this blog is a long one... it's our personal journey and I'm an open book, so I'm sharing as much as possible!
In the light of my series of live talks with moms in the past, I have decided to stick to the framework of discussing things per topic to make it easier for you to navigate through the information.
Pre-Pregnancy
In September 2020, André & I made the decision that I will no longer be using the pill as a form of contraceptives. The choice came after we've had several friends who struggled to fall pregnant or suffered miscarriages after being on the pill. We made the decision to ditch the pill with the hopes that we won't struggle to fall pregnant or have the risk of miscarriage as a result of using the pill for a long time by the time we wanted to start trying. We didn't make use of any other form of contraceptives either. I simply tracked my ovulation and we stayed away from the fertile windows.
I always joke and say that it worked really well for us, until it didn't anymore and I fell pregnant with Ruahné in 2021.
Despite the fact that we were not yet trying to conceive, we were over the moon - as the choice to ditch contraceptives wasn't only a physical choice but also a spiritual one. So when we fell pregnant with Ruahné, we knew that it was truly in Abba's will and perfect timing.
After Ruahné was born, I didn't use any contraceptives either. I breastfed her for 25 months (until January 2024). During December 2023, just before Ruahné turned 2-years old, I started to feel touched out with the whole breastfeeding journey. Which was strange to me as I have loved it from the start and our breastfeeding journey have been very blessed and without any hiccups. Little did I know that I was feeling touched out because of the hormone shuffling that was taking place in my body - as I was already pregnant with Aleyh. Backtrack a month to November 2023, when I had my period - I got the "random" thought that that period would be my last one and that I would fall pregnant soon. It was a very strange thought as André and myself didn't recently speak about having kids or trying again. So I basically just brushed off the thought and went on with my life. I should know better by now, or should I say discern better by now. Because at the start of January 2024, we found out that I was expecting and the period that I've had at the end of November 2023 was indeed my last period before conception. Abba is truly in the details! All glory and honour goes to Him!
Pregnancy
This brings us to the pregnancy part. For the length of the blog's sake, I won't be elaborating on my pregnancy too much. As I have share lots of general information in the blog about Ruahné's pregnancy & birth experience.
I was blessed with yet another healthy pregnancy. With Ruahné I would wake up in the morning and either vomit or be fine for the rest of the day from about week 6 to 16. After that I didn't have any major hiccups besides my round ligament pain which I experienced at 26 weeks.
This time around I felt like a champ still at the 6 week mark! We were on holiday and I told friends whom we have met that I am so thankful to not wake up and wonder if I will vomit or not. Haha joke was on me... Because came week 7, the nausea kicked in. With Ruahné's pregnancy it was fine. Because I would either vomit and feel instantly better or not be nauseous at all. I don't know about you but I'd take that even up until week 40 if I have to. But second time around my nausea wasn't bound to the mornings. Ugh! Week 7 had me literally down in bed one whole day! So bad that I phoned my mom to come anf fetch Ruahné and take her to Pienkvoet Pret - because I wasn't up for it nor was I able to entertain Ruahné at home if we skipped the play group. Between my mom and André, they took care of Ruahné that entire day. The first time I got out of the room was at like 17:00 in the afternoon. It's sounds super dramatic I know, but those who know me will know that the only reason why I'll stay in bed is when I physically cannot get out of bed. Thankfully, that horrible experience only lasted one day. However, the nausea stuck with me until 39 weeks and 6 days - I kid you not!
Somewhere round about week 24-26, I experienced some nerve pain in my groin - which left me crying like a baby for one day. But I can testify that prayer does work! I haven't cried as much the past probably 5 years than the amount I cried that poor Friday! My physio couldn't help me and there wasn't much that I could do but cry, pray and wait it out. Thankfully His mercies truly are new every morning - and I woke up that Saturday morning as if nothing was ever wrong!
In terms of my group fitness classes - I continued giving classed up until I was 36 weeks pregnant - like I did with Ruahné as well. With Ruahné's pregnancy, I swam from week 36-40 and loved it. The hydrostatic pressure of the water is wonderful for your pregnant body and can even help your little one to turn into the correct position easier. With Aleyh's pregnancy I wuld have loved to also swim from 36 weeks onwards - but our lives had other plans and I was unable to get to it. I could actually feel the difference it has made between the two pregnancies. With Ruahné I was super comfortable the full pregnancy (40 weeks + 2 days). With Aleyh I was also comfortable the full pregnancy (41 weeks + 2 days), but some days I could feel the toll of not moving my body.
Birth
Here comes the exciting part! As you would probably know, I am a massive advocate for natural & unmedicated birth! Movies, media and the medical industry have mananged to commercialise and medicate the entire process way more than it was ever intended to be.
During my pregnancy with Ruahné, I did a whole lot of research. More research than 95% other pregnant women I do believe - because I wanted to know it ALL and went down every rabbit hole I discovered. I believe that the more informed you are the better choices you can make and the less the chances of experiencing things you'd wish you could change. Before I fell pregnant the first time, I started to ponder about the idea of giving birth at home or at a birthing centre. However, when I was pregnant with Ruahné we met with a midwife but neither myself nor André were at peace to go with her. So Ruahné was born in hospital. I was really well informed and advocated for what I want and didn't want. We were fortunate that the OB and hospital staff respected our wishes and I had a good hospital experience.
When I was pregnant with Aleyh, the home birth option was back on the table. But the hospital option wasn't off the table - since we truly had a positive hospital experience. I think if you have had a bad experience with the hospital then it obviously changes the situation drastically. But we decided that we'll look into the home birth option again but if we're not 100% satisfied and at peace - then we'd rather go back to hospital.
To tell the story as short as possible: we met up with a midwife, whom I knew since before Ruahné's pregnancy. Back when I was pregnant she did however not yet do home births yet. I loved her fact based approach and wealth of information when I spoke to her during my first pregnancy. So much so that when I was pregnant with Ruahné I asked her why she doesn't do home births as we would have loved to work with her. So when we heard that she was doing home births by the time I was pregnant with Aleyh (it was in process with Ruahné's pregnancy already) - it was a no brainer for us to go with her. However, the reality which we faced was that the home birth route would have come with more interventions than the hospital route would have. Just to give you an idea - I didn't have ANY internal checks throughout my pregnancies with the gynae. He respected our choice (as there are risks of premature labour, infection, etc involved). But with the midwife she required cervical checks from 36 weeks onwards. Plus the back up doctor for her home births also required a check up (with an cervical check) somewhere after 36 weeks. Therefore I would have had to have at lease 2 cervical checks if we decided to go the home birth route - whereas the hospital route required 0. Many times we just assume that the home birth route would come with less interventions, but the reality we faced wasn't that way around. We basically decided to leave it and just go with the hospital again. But the desire in my heart for home birth was still there. I told André that there's another midwife that I knew of and I think we should just contact her as well before we make the final decision.
We made an appointment and she came to our house and I instantly knew that home birth was back on the table. After she left, André confirmed my feeling and also said it's back on the table with the condition that it must be with Vanessa, the midwife who came to our home. As I said, I'm trying to keep it short and sweet! So the rest was basically history!
We continued to go to the gynae for check ups (very few check ups compared to our first pregnancy though) and we also had check ups with the midwife and kept her in the loop about the gynae check ups.
Before we met with Vanessa, we told our gynae that we are considering home birth - which I knew ahead he is not a fan of. He handled it very well and said if that's our choice, he respects it 100% but that he would not be the back up doctor should anything go wrong. It didn't bother me because if home birth becomes an emergency, you are taken to emergency and the doctor on duty will help you. I couldn't care less that they have to call my gynae. So his response didn't affect our choice whatsoever.
Everyone always say that the second baby comes earlier and faster. Earlier was not applicable in our case. Faster, however, indeed it was!
Ruahné was born at 40 weeks + 2 days. So in my mind I had the idea that I would probably reach 40 weeks again or just be shy of that. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this little cutie would make us wait until 41 weeks + 2 days!
On Sunday night, 22 Sept 2024, we went to bed (40 weeks + 1 day) at 22:00. At 22:41 I woke up and felt like I need to go to the loo. Here's the first bit of TMI, but that's what you are here for afterall! My bowls usually go in the morning when I get up and then it's done for the day. So when I went to the loo, I did find it odd. Yet, there is NOTHING like labour denial! I was in complete denial that it was the start of the labour process - despite being 41 weeks +1 day along and knowing full well that having bowl movement is a sign of labour! Anyway, denying the reality, I got back in bed and was met with the first contraction - a very mild one. I still told myself that it's not the real deal. The next one came, and the next and the next... After like the 3rd or 4th one I sat up in bed (if you've ever had contractions - you'd know contractions are the worst when lying down). Starting to come to terms with the fact that these contractions probably won't stop, I got up and went to my office.
With Ruahné's pregnancy, I wrote a prayer for pregnancy and birth. When I was 39 weeks an 5/6 days pregnant, I felt the prompting to record the prayer with Lize Hadassah Olivier's instrumental music playing in the background. So that night I got up, popped my one airpod in my ear and walked up and down in our kitchen and living room. Right from the get go, my contractions were 2-3 contractions every 10 minutes. The were irregular but mostly the same duration. With Ruahné, my contractions also started at 23:00ish that night - also 2-3 contractions every 10 minutes. Ruahné's labour process was just under 6 hours from the first contraction until she was born. So even if the second labour were to progress faster, I had like a 3-5 hour process in my head.
From 00:00 my contractions started to come every 2 minutes on the clock, all lasting 40-45seconds. At 00:06 I went to wake up André and told him it's time! We arranged that my mom would come over to help with Ruahné when the time comes. André asked me if I've informed my mom and the midwife yet. I told him obviously I haven't because I didn't feel like it was necesary yet. However, we decided to let my mom know she can come over and just pop a message to the midwife to tell her that things have started. In my message to her I told her that the contractions were still "managable" - because they truly were. I was still walking around, chatting to André and moving through the contractions as they came. My mom said she'd come as soon as she could. Ruahné still sleeps in our bed. So the plan was to wait for my mom to come and that she could pick her up and move her to the guest room. I was not about to pick up a almost 3-year old during contractions and get her back to sleep - because she wanted nothing to do with her dad at night (completely normal when you are pregnant with the second). I went to André who annointed our room and was busy getting dressed. At 00:26 I took a photo of Ruahné sleeping stretched out in our bed. Now anyone who has ever had contractions - would know that when you are close to the end part of your labour - taking photos are not the last thing on the list, it doesn't even reach the list. André and I chatted about how we will prep the room once my mom arrives - contractions still coming every 2 minutes on the clock but still completely managable.
I walked back to the guest room where my mom and Ruahné would sleep / hang out - as this is the room furthest away from the main bedroom - where we planned for the home birth to take place. Our room is nice and spacious with a dressing room and bathroom with a nice and big bath and shower, so ample space to move around during labour. Since I got up with contractions at 22:41, I hanged in the kitchen, living room and guest room so that I don't wake André and Ruahné. So I went back there to hang until my mom came, or at least that was the plan!
When I got back to the guest room, I was met with a contraction that was significantly more intense than the ones before! That would be the first contraction that if I HAD to ascribe pain to - it would be that one. I realised that things just went up a notch undoubtedly.
The next contraction came and I honestly thought that I was about to pee my pants. I crossed my legs over one another and ran (shuffled in retrospect) to the bathroom.
The next contraction came and I realised that I didn't want to pee. As I sat on the toilet, my instinct told me to reach down and I felt the baby's head. I called André with a voice that would tell him it's urgent but also soft enough that it won't wake Ruahné. He came into the bathroom and when I told him I could feel the head, he was like "oookay." He asked me if I had called the midwife and my mom. Again with this silly questions! This time I knew it was time to call them, but are you kidding me - do you think I (me) should be the one calling? At that stage I was still dressed in my pjamas and slippers, sitting / hovering over the toilet with one hand on the toilet seat and one hand on the bathroom cupboard. With my airpod in my ear... André phoned the midwife from my phone and the more I told him "my earphone, my earphone, my earphone..." the more he did not understand what I was saying! Haha it was so funny. Labour makes you do strange things. Long story short, he phoned the midwife and told her we could feel the head. She said she was 7 minutes away, which was the truth because she lives real close. We also phoned my mom and told her to let my dad also come. The initial plan wasn't for him to come as he had nothing to do here during the night. But when we realised that my mom might have to assist with the birth, we told her that my dad should also come so that he could help with Ruahné if she woke up. Somewhere between this contraction and the next, I told André to just help me get my slippers, pants and underwear off as things progress faster than we could have anticipated.
The fourth contraction came, and I felt what they call the "ring of fire." For those who don't know - it's when it burns down under. And you KNOW that when you feel that, the baby is about to be born SOON! When I felt that, I instantly knew that no one was going to make it in time to assist us. I looked André in the eyes and told him "we're going to catch the baby, nobody is going to come in time, make peace with it." My words were met with another "oookay" and a peaceful authoritive prayer.
The fifth contraction came which was the baby's head coming out and my water breaking all at once. I was still hovered over the toilet when my water broke and it all went into the toilet. (The colour of the amniotic water still blows my mind from both pregnancies - it's like a pearly clear water.) I moved forward and away from the toilet without even thinking - standing in a semi squatted position. I told André that he must remember that the baby is going to be wet and slippery, so we must catch carefully when the baby comes out.
The sixth contraction came and whoop, the rest of the baby was out! André lifted up the baba and helped me to take my pjama top off so that I could place the baby against my chest. The baby started crying and we know everything was all good! We were euphoric! It was the most incredible thing that just happened which we were still coming to terms with. André's phone rang - it was my mom at the estate gate waiting for us to open the gate. It was 00:37. All of what you've just read happened between 00:26 (photo of Ruahné) and 00:37! I call it my 6-contraction birth in 11 minutes haha!
My mom arrived and André was on his way to go and open for my mom, when I laughed and told him to grab me a towel as I was still standing butt naked after everything that just happened. He brought the towel and was heading to the front door when I called him back again and told him we must first look "what" the baby is - as up until this point we didn't know the gender! We found out that it was another little girl and we cried and laughed with joy! In both of our hearts we knew all throughout the pregnancy that it was a little girl and to see that our hearts were right, was the best feeling ever!
My mom helped us to prep guest room bed so that I could lie down on it with Aleyh on my chest. About 5 minutes after my mom arrived, the midwife arrived. And 5 minutes after that, my dad also arrived. Despite of all that just went down, my dad only had one question and that was HOW did we end up in the guest room (he knew the plan was for it to take place in our bedroom). Haha all of it was honestly one of the best feelings ever!
After a while, my contractions re-fired to birth the placenta. Vanessa (midwife) told me that I could gently tug on the cord to feel if it's loose already. Sometimes the placenta have already detached from the uterus wall, but it just haven't come out and by tugging on it it can help it to come out. I tugged and felt that it wasn't moving a bit. After a few more contractions, I asked Vanessa if I could get up - feeling the urge to stand for the process. I stood up, still holding Aleyh against my chest. When another contraction came, I gently tugged on the cord again and it still didn't move. The next contraction came and whoop, the entire placenta came out. Vanessa placed the placenta in a bowl and we kept it next to us. We waited until the cord basically clasped itself. Vanessa then tied off the cord and André cut it off. We attempted the first breastfeeding session and just cuddled this new little being.
Vanessa did all the required checks on myself as well as Aleyh, with Aleyh on my chest. Ruahné woke up and met her new little sister and wrapped her in kisses and cuddles! It felt like my hear was about to explode.
Postpartum
The postpartum period with Aleyh felt much faster than with Ruahné. The recovery process went really quick and without any complications. I am breastfeeding Aleyh, like I did with Ruahné, and I plan to keep going for at least a year. I am blessed with a high volume milk supply without having to take any supplements.
I have started with some pelvic floor and core recovery movement before I did any other form of exercise. I am a firm believer in a slow postpartum approach and there's no race back to any specific appearance.
This is my pregnancy & birth story in a (big) nutshell. If there's anything that I didn't address or any questions you might have - please feel free to reach out. I'd love to share it all with you!
You can read all about my pregnancy & birth experience with Ruahné here: https://www.fitbesttraining.co.za/post/pregnancy-birth-experience
If you are a mamma and you would like to share your birth story - please contact me! Let's get the word out that birth can be beautiful, despite the fact that no two women's journeys will ever be the same!
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